How to Move

It's a fact of life; moving is one of the most unpleasant things human beings have to do. You have the daunting task of packing up all of your possessions, loading them into a vehicle, and driving them to a new destination where you then have to unpack everything. Most people would rather have their wisdom teeth removed than relocate their lives. Then there are still others who would reportedly rather just have their entire head removed. This is why I'm writing this essay. Though performing such a stressful feat is exhausting, there are some ways I would go about it to help lighten the burden.

To begin, I want to look at some of the reasons why we move in the first place. Maybe it's for a job or significant other. I know there are some people who move for no reason other than to see what it's like not to have their trailer blown away by a tornado every year. I guess they want to try relocating on their own for once. But whatever the reason, it's important that you aren't moving just because you think it'll be exciting, because it won't be.

I, for one, will do everything in my power to stay where I am until it's just no longer feasible to do so. If I get a new job offer for instance, I have to ask myself, can I do it from home? If my significant other is moving, can I convince her not to? If not, do I really love her? If I do, does she really love me or is it more of a stalker situation? I can't tell you how many times I've gotten really excited to move to a new place with my girlfriend only to find out once we're there that she wasn't even my girlfriend, but just some girl I was stalking. I simply tell her I can't believe she had the nerve to wait until we were already there to tell me how she felt about us.

In any case, if, after looking deep inside myself, I'm still in need of moving, then it's time to prepare for the long haul. One of the first things I have to do is decide which things I want to take with me, and which things I can give away or throw out. This is the easy part. If I'm already carrying or wearing it, I'll keep it. Everything else has to go. But, instead of going through the trouble of taking everything to the dump, I usually just put it all on the neighbors front lawn and tell them they're having a yard sale. Most of the time they didn't even know about the yard sale, which is funny, because they're the one's having it so they had better just get with the program.

Now that I've taken care of all of my belongings and have the car packed with myself, it's time to do the actual drive. This part of the move is crucial because without it, I don't move. So, to ensure that everything goes smoothly what I need to do is drive as fast as possible. This way I'll get where I'm going in the shortest amount of time. The less I'm on the road the less chance I have of a mishap.

Eventually I'll reach my destination and just in the nick of time. My girlfriend looks like she could use a hand unpacking. I would help out but I don't feel like moving from my comfortable position in the bushes. Besides, she's one of those people that likes to do everything herself and starts screaming if a stranger emerges from the shrubbery and tries to get all cuddly with her. I guess that's what I love about her, she knows what she wants and isn't afraid to speak up.