Work is getting way too specialized. First of all, it's become almost law that you borrow $3,906,945 from the bank to go to college and get a degree. Then, once your done getting the degree, guess what, you not only have to pay back the money you borrowed, but you also have to pay interest on the money you borrowed. This would be all well and good if the interest didn't increase the amount you owed by a good three to four hundred times the original amount borrowed. So, instead of paying back the 4 million dollars that you didn't have in the first place, you now have to pay back the $987,546,098,345.09 that you really don't have. Don't worry though, you have the rest of your life to never be able to pay it off.
And, if you think that's bad, once you're out there trying to find a job, you learn a very valuable lesson...you can't. You can't because you don't have any experience. Employers not only want you to have a degree in the field you're trying to get a job in, but they also require that you have at least 5 years of experience doing the EXACT job you're applying for. They don't just want experience from a similar position, oh no. By reading how detailed the requirements are, it's apparent that they want you to have experience in THAT position. Therefore, the only person qualified for the job is the person that had the job before they left the position.
So, now you're stuck washing dishes for 10 cents an hour while paying $432,567 a month in student loans. "That's fine", you think to yourself. "The economy is just bad". That's a nice thought, except for the fact that the next time you look for a job you realize that employers have gotten so specific about what they want that the requirements read: "10 year degree, 10 years experience (in THIS position), able to type 900 words per minute while printing, faxing, copying, and juggling, fluent in English, Spanish, Portuguese, Pig Latin, etc. If you're not already working in this position, don't apply." Come on man! I can brush up on my Spanish but where am I going to learn Pig Latin?! And how will I ever get experience in that position if they won't hire me because I've never worked in that position?!
This is totally unfair, but think of the alternative, actually getting hired. If you do happen to luck out and get a job, things really start to take a turn for the worse. Jobs have gotten so specialized, and there are so many people available to work, that each person has just one simple movement that they must perform over and over all day long. I hope you like turning your right wrist counterclockwise 30 degrees every 3 seconds because that's what you'll be doing if you get hired at a factory. You want to get a higher paying job? Good luck, because now that you've been hired for office work you'll be moving even less than you were at the factory. Yes, now you can look forward to sitting completely motionless in a chair, staring at a computer screen for 40 hours a week. And don't even worry about turning your head to look out the window anymore either, there is no window. Once you've put in a full day at the office, you'll know exactly how those giant stone monoliths feel.
All of this may sound like torture, but just think of how efficient it is. Think about how much money the CEO is making by turning you into a robot. Don't you feel better now?
OK, so now you're a robot making a little money, what's next? Well, you'll probably want to start putting some money away for retirement, right? No you don't. You want to use that money to pay your monthly student loan bills. Or perhaps you want to go out and buy a nice wardrobe for yourself to celebrate your skills at playing a statue at work. Wrong again, you want to use that money to pay student loan bills. Want to eat? Nope! You want to pay student loan bills! Start a family? Wrong! Student loan bills! Breathe?! Not anymore! Student loan bills!!
Don't worry though, these are just some of the things you get to look forward to once you graduate from college. I'm sure there are many, many more just waiting to be discovered! In fact, in another 10 years you'll probably be required to perform your job while unconscious. And then dead. What's that? You were never even born? Doesn't matter! Do we have the job for you!
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